your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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