Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There's always time for handjobs
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize