Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize