stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Let's get the cat blown out
So vagazzling was a success
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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