Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
