id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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