I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
