well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
