All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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