Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
