is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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