ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
