To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You're earring is so big in my mouth
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize