Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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