I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
