my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize