matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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