You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
