Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize