I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize