I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
