are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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