can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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