they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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