it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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