Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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