Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
