I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
