I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The power of my boobs compel you
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize