you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
