the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
