This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
