I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize