yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
