This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
