She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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