all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
