I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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