Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
