somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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