how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
