i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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