im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
