He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
