Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
