"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
