I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
