Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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