You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize