there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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