yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
