I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
