its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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