You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
