so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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