So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
