Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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