I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
