I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
