Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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