if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
