and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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