he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
