If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize