Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
