WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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