I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
