Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's blow job season.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
