Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
