Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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