her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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