I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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